I've been thinking lately about a friend of mine, and absolutely wonderful woman that I've only really met in these last few months. As we got to know each other it became rather apparent that she was more interested in me than I was in her. Still, I gave her what time I could and went looking to see if there was anything there. All that I found was that I just wasn't interested in her, but I still want to be her friend. This doesn't seem to be in the cards, however. Every step I take to try and have a conversation with her or spend time with her, regardless of how casual and non-committal I may be, is quashed or sidestepped. I'm not one to feel jilted, if she doesn't want to spend time with me then ok. What's been giving me reason to ponder is the "all or nothing" attitude that seems to have left it's stamp on our relationship.
Just because we started out as potential love interests doesn't mean we can't be friends. Just because I'm friends with a girl doesn't mean we can't become romantically involved. Even were I to hate someone vehemently, we could still become friends further down the road. Relationships are meant to grow and progress, and a lot of times that growth and progress involves a categorical change. Admittedly, there are a great many relationships that will blossom as they are. Friendship as a category has no upper limit, neither do any other categorical distinctions. The only limit I'd put on any of this is an absolute zero, because if you've never interacted with a person (or with their ideas, actions, etc.) it's impossible to have a relationship with them.
I can't require anyone to change. I love and respect those around me far too much to even approach the idea. All I can do is change myself as is appropriate and try to become that difference I'm looking for. But that doesn't mitigate the frustration I feel when I run into this wall.
No comments:
Post a Comment